


Remember The Time

by DaemonRose



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: AU, Action/Adventure, Drama, F/M, Gen, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-07
Updated: 2014-07-01
Packaged: 2017-12-25 18:16:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/956204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaemonRose/pseuds/DaemonRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oswin x Ten AU</p><p>Ten lands on Starship Alaska where he meets Oswin who remembers her real life with the Doctor and saves Ten but when he wants to take her with him, driven by her feelings, she accepts and both have to face the consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One (prologue)

**Author's Note:**

> Heya here it is! Be aware it’s the first AU story for me ever and also the first time I write Ten and that english isn’t my native language. It’s really a challenge for me cause I really like the pairing and the plot idea (it’s inspired by Moffat so be warned!).

Prologue

_Do You Remember_   
_When We Fell In Love_   
_We Were Young_   
_And Innocent Then_   
_Do You Remember_   
_How It All Began_   
_It Just Seemed Like Heaven_   
_So Why Did It End?_   
  
_Do You Remember_   
_Back In The Fall_   
_We'd Be Together_   
_All Day Long_   
_Do You Remember_   
_Us Holding Hands_   
_In Each Other's Eyes_   
_We'd Stare_

* * *

 

My name is Oswin Oswald. I’m junior entertainment manager on Starship Alaska. I’m cool and I’m a genius. I like to make soufflés but I burn them every time. So I’m not a genius when it comes to cooking. Actually, my name isn’t Oswin, it’s just what I’m called here. My real name is Clara. I’m Clara Oswald and I am a perfectly ordinary girl. That’s what I was until I met the Doctor and of course, it was the best day of my life.

 

I always wanted to travel and see all the places in my book my mother gave to me and the Doctor gave me all of time and space. In his little blue box we travelled across the whole universe. He showed me the stars. I saw galaxies, and planets and stars. We ran a lot and saved the world. He is a clever, funny, caring thousand year old time lord with two hearts who travels through time and space and he really needs a companion. There is just one problem when you meet this mad and wonderful alien. He doesn’t like endings. You think your journey would last forever; you want to travel with him forever because you never get tired of the running and all the beautiful things he shows you. You could spend the rest of your life with him but he can’t be the rest of his life with you.

There is a trick and I did that trick a lot. I mean I really tried. But it was all for nothing. The trick is, don’t fall in love. The trick didn’t work for me and that meant the end of the world.

When he turned up with his time machine I couldn’t resist coming with him. That was when it all started. I got lost in my feelings for the Doctor ignoring the fact that it could never be forever and so I messed up time and the consequences were fatal…

 

“Clara! My Clara.”

The words had echoed in my head again and again. I awoke at home in my bed. Actually in my bed at the Maitland’s home. My second home. My real home was in the TARDIS. With the Doctor. But I would never admit that.

I tried to remember what happened. I saw the Doctors greatest secret, he said it was him but not the Doctor, the one who broke the promise. Then I fainted. It was hard to wrap my head around what actually happened recently at Trenzalore and inside the Doctors time stream because there were so many other lives inside my head, too. There were all the times I met and saved the Doctor and I saw timelines even I shouldn’t remember but I could see them all like I remembered the day we went to the centre of the TARDIS. One of them made me blush and my heart began to race when the pictures became clearer in my head.

“Oh my stars!”

I smiled brightly and jumped out of the bed and ran downstairs where I found the Doctor playing with the Maitland’s kids.

“Doctor!”

I ran towards him and fell into his arms the one place where I belonged.

_  
_


	2. Two

_Do You Remember The Time_  
When We Fell In Love  
Do You Remember The Time  
When We First Met  
Do You Remember The Time  
When We Fell In Love  
Do You Remember The Time

The big digital clock over the slide doors showed that it was quarter past six in the evening. All the children were already gone and Oswin Oswald was alone in the kids entertainment place of the Alaska. She just had finished tidying up the mess the children had made, toys and pencils scattered all around the floor and tables, as her eyes fell on the clock above her. She sighed.

Every evening when her job with the kids was done an uneasy feeling of restlessness came over her. She knew exactly why. She was missing something. Moreover she was missing _someone_.

She turned off the lights and sealed the doors when she left the place. When she returned to her own room she sank down on her bed. What could she do the rest of the evening? She needed something to do that could distract her otherwise she would go insane by thinking too much.

She would think about her other life. Her real life. Her life with the Doctor. She remembered it well. She remembered all of it. She remembered the day he turned up on her doorstep in that funny monk's robe when they had their first adventure together up to the day they went to Trenzalore where they found the Doctors tomb. There she jumped into his time stream to save his life and  got scattered all across his life saving him and thus dying by doing so. She remembered everything, all of her echoes in the Doctors time stream. All the times she met him from Gallifrey to Trenzalore.

All those lives where scrambled up in her head and sometimes she thought she might become insane. Oswin shook her head trying to push the painful memories of her lost life away. She was wondering every day when she would see the Doctor again at last.

 

When you have travelled with the Doctor you can’t imagine a life without him anymore, that’s what Oswin felt now. Lost in a place where she didn’t belong, all alone waiting for him to turn up in his magic blue box taking her away to show her the stars. That’s where she belonged. With the Doctor, in the TARDIS.

She sighed again, stood up and went over to her desk where she turned on her laptop. She started the security scan and a programme to check for unexpected activity inside and around the ship. When the loneliness and the thinking became too much for her she always did some research to distract herself. A little while ago she had noticed that something wasn’t right with the ship. She had talked to the commander about it but he hadn’t taken her seriously. So she went to investigate by herself because she was really worried about the strange noises she heard every now and then from the engines room. She hadn’t been looking for it yet because she wasn’t allowed there but she was almost done with hacking into the security system of the ship so that she would have free access to the engine room.

Her laptop beeped, telling her that everything was in order.

“Oh come on, there must be something!” Oswin snarled at the laptop raising her hands in frustration. Out of desperation she did another scan. Biting her lip she tried again to hack the security system. Suddenly a row of beeps startled her. A window had opened and red blinking words said: Warning! Unknown alien activity detected.

“Gotcha!”

Oswin clapped her hands together. She clicked on the warning and a map opened where the location of the detection was marked. It was right near the engines room. “I knew it.”  She closed the programme and her laptop. She rushed around her room and collected some things she thought she might need, like a torch and a communicator, and put them in the pockets on her belt.

Then she made her way down to the heart of the ship. On her way she had to sneak past the kitchen and the maintenance and the door of the latter stood open. Luckily Louis was too distracted by the TV-show he was watching to notice her.

Relieved that no one had seen her she reached the lowest floor and  could already hear the humming of the engines. When she turned into the corridor that lead to the heavy door of the engines room she bumped into someone. She bounced back and stumbled a few steps backward before she looked up into the face of a man she knew very well. Her eyes became wide, her mouth agape.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said. “Are you alright?”

Oswin nodded.

“I’m the Doctor by the way. Who are you? And where exactly am I?”

 

Oswin couldn’t believe it. Finally the Doctor had arrived. But it wasn’t her Doctor. It was an earlier version of him. She had seen him before but he had never really met her yet.

But it didn’t matter to her right in this moment. The Doctor was there and behind him she could see the glow of the lights of the TARDIS in the dimly lit corridor. That was all that mattered to her.

She just stared at him. His hair wasn’t floppy but short and messy; his old brown eyes looked at her in curiosity. She remembered that she owed him an answer.

“Oh, I’m Oswin. Oswin Oswald, junior entertainment manager and this is the Alaska.”

“Nice to meet you, Oswin!” he smiled at her and her heart raced in excitement.

She smiled back. “You came in the right moment, Doctor. As always.” He looked puzzled. “Why is that?” he asked.

“There’s something wrong here. I think it’s in the engines room.”

“Oh, yeah?” The Doctor paused for a second and stood completely still. Then he grinned and nodded at Oswin.

“I think that, too. And I guess it’s over there?” He pointed to the metal door with the warning triangle and the ‘no access’ sign.

“Yep. You’re a clever boy,” Oswin said but the Doctor had already dashed away.

She rolled her eyes and followed. She had to pass the TARDIS and stood in front of it for a moment in sentimental thoughts touching the blue wooden doors that so often wouldn’t have opened for her. The whirring sound of the sonic screwdriver pulled her out and she joined the Doctor at the door. He just had soniced it open. “Let’s find out what’s in there,” he said in a low but excited voice and grinned like a child on Christmas.

They entered the machine room and were welcomed by loud rattling and thudding sounds and hot steam that came out of the pipes that led along the walls and the ceiling. The condensation of the cooling water was dripping from the ceiling. Other than this, Oswin couldn’t hear any strange noises. They walked further inside, Oswin right on the Doctors heels. Suddenly she dropped dead pulling at the Doctors sleeve; he turned and followed the terrified look on her face.  There behind a huge tank two feet in leather boots looked out. It was a young man lying on the floor in a blood stain. His throat was cut. Oswin clapped her hand over her mouth. It wasn’t exactly clean cut but literally ripped apart.

 

“That’s… that’s Terry, one of the engineers. He was probably checking if anything’s in order down here.”

The Doctor knelt down beside the body and did a few scans with his sonic with no result. He looked at her “I’m sorry,” he said with a sorrowful and sad expression. Oswin closed her eyes for a moment.

“What is going on here?” she asked. “What killed him?”

“I don’t know…yet.” He got up to his feet and put a hand on Oswins shoulder squeezing it gently. “Come on let’s find out.”

 

While they walked further the humming and rattling of the main engine became louder with every step.

“Stay with me,” the Doctor said. Oswin laughed out quietly. “I’m not the one to wander off, trust me.”

He looked at her a little irritated. “Good.”

Suddenly he raised his hand in alarm. “Did you hear that?”

She nodded. Over the engine noises she could hear something else. Something she had heard before. It was like a muffled knocking. “Oh, no,” the Doctor breathed and a lump formed in his throat. That sound wasn’t a good sign. He scanned their surroundings but couldn’t find anything. Oswin went carefully behind him. Then she noticed something on the floor. It was a big stain but it was not like all the other oil and water stains on the floor. It was bigger and still fluid. She squatted down to get a closer look. It was dark red and thick. Blood, she thought, but not human.

“Doctor!” she called. “Over here!” He rushed towards her and scanned it with the sonic. “What is it?” Oswin asked. His eyes became wide his expression terrified. “Something bad.” “What?” Oswin squeaked. “Weevil blood,” the Doctor said, looking attentively around.

“Weevils are dangerous creatures that hunt and kill humans. But how did a free Weevil get here on the ship? We have to be very careful. Watch out, it can attack rapidly and tear your throat apart like it did with poor Terry.” Oswin gulped and nodded.

Slowly and quietly they went on following the Weevil blood stains, Oswin clung to the Doctors arm. She was a bit scared but she would never admit it. They weren’t far from the main engine when they found an iron cage which doors were broken and open.  “What the hell?”

“Doctor what is happening here?” Oswin asked.  “That I’m asking you. Why is a blood thirsty weevil caged in here? Well, obviously was caged here.  Now it’s free. It’s wounded but it can still attack us right now.”

“I don’t know! Why would somebody do that?” She looked around, listening carefully. The doctor was busy scanning with his sonic again, observing the cage and the ground.

Then it happened in a second. Oswin let out a high pitched scream. “Doctor!” He turned around and she jumped at him, knocking him to the ground. The weevil roared and Oswin and the Doctor stared at it in shock. Its mouth was bloody and the eyes glowing red. It howled again, going for another attack. They looked at each other.

“Oswin…!”

“Let me guess: RUN!” The Doctor nodded and just as they were about to get to their feet again there was a bang and the beast froze for a moment before it let out a moan and collapsed to the ground.

Oswin sighed and looked at the Doctor. He gave her a nod that he was alright and they looked up. A man with a gun stood behind the dead Weevil. “Harvey!” Oswin got to her feet and ran to him. “Thank God! But what are you doing here?”

“I saw first Commander Harris and then you coming down here. Then I heard strange noises so I thought I have a look and found the door open.” Oswin frowned. ”Commander Harris?”

“Yeah, he must be here somewhere. By the way, who is this?” Harvey gestured to the Doctor who had joined them now. “I’m the Doctor.” He said. “Thank you for helping us.” “How do you…?” Oswin interrupted him.

“We can discuss that later. I have the feeling that …”

She stopped mid-sentence and Harvey turned as there was a dry laughter.

“Commander!” Harvey put up his gun at Harris.

“Oi!” The Doctor jumped into motion and to Harvey’s side. He put a hand on his arm. The Doctor looked seriously at him. “I don’t think that’s necessary.”

“Oh, I think it is,” the Commander snarled and pulled his own gun from its holder.

“Oh, no, please dont,” the Doctor pleaded.

Oswin took a step forward between the two parties.

“Guys, stop. Listen to him. Commander, what the hell is going on? What is a bloody Weevil doing here on board?”

“That’s a good question, actually,” the Doctor agreed.

Harvey had lowered his gun but Harris didn’t.

“Well, I stole it. Back on earth. There was this guy who caught it and I stole it. “

“But why did you?” Oswin asked.

“Because I want to sell it to a collector. I know someone who would pay me a nice prize for it.”  “Oh that’s stupid. You put us all in danger for the money.” The doctor hissed.

“I’ll call the Captain!” Oswin reached for the communicator on her belt and Harris pointed his gun at her. She froze. “No, you won’t.”

The Doctor raised his hand, armed with his sonic.

“Put the gun down,” he said firmly.

“Or what?” Harris laughed.

“One.”

Harris laughed again holding the gun at the Doctor now.

“Two.” The Doctor still pointed the Sonic screwdriver at him.

Harris didn’t move.

“Three.”

The sonic whirred and then there was a bang, sparks flew and Harris dropped the gun. It fell down and the Commander held his hand in pain.

“I warned you,” the Doctor shrugged.

Oswin got her communicator and called the bridge.

“Captain. This is Oswin. We have some trouble down here in the engines room.” The Doctor and Harvey held the Commander until two securities and the Captain came. “What’s this about?” the Captain asked. “What are you all doing down here? And who is he?” he pointed at the Doctor.

Oswin explained it to him and they got Harris arrested. They would drop him of at the next space station where he would get into the next shuttle back to earth and into prison.

 

When they have commander Harris locked away the captain turned to the Doctor. “Now I’d like to know who you are and what you are doing here on my ship?”

The Doctor smiled friendly at him.

“I’m the Doctor and I landed accidently here. Actually, I was heading for the Ood Sphere but my ship well she’s not always very reliable.“ He scratched the back of his head. “I’m sorry to interfere but when I landed here I met the lovely Oswin here and she told me that something is wrong so I thought since I’m already here maybe I could help.”

“It’s alright, Captain. He’s ok. And he really helped us.”

“Then I shall thank you, Doctor.”

“Oh it’s nothing. Dear Oswin should take the credits. She saved me from the Weevil.”

“Is that so? Then I thank you too. I have to do some paperwork to do. Oswin? I'll see you and Harvey later in the common room?”

Oswin nodded and the Captain left. The Doctor looked at her and frowned. She looked troubled.

„You alright?”

Oswin smiled. „Yes. That’s it then? You take a leave. Where are you going?”

„Uhm, maybe I try another shot at the Ood Sphere,” he shrugged and looked down at her.

„Well, then, good luck and thank you Doctor.”

„Oh, you’re most welcome Oswin Oswald.”

The Doctor went to the TARDIS and snapped his fingers. Oswin rolled her eyes again. “Stop showing off, Doctor.” They laughed and then looked at each other for a moment. Then Oswin breathed: “I’ll miss you.”

“One more thing, Oswin.”

“Yeah?”

“It may sound weird but just tell me this: Have we met before?”

Oswin hesitated, eyes pinned to the ground.

“Uhm, well actually no but I’ve seen you before but erm, it’s complicated and a bit impossible.”

The Doctor nodded. „Spoilers, I guess.”

Oswin looked up at him with a grin. „Well, yes that’s the word you use.”

“Ok, then I bet I see you around.”

“Yes, see you, Doctor.”

He stepped into the TARDIS but suddenly Oswin followed and stopped him “Wait!”

He turned around. „What?”

“Doctor. It’s just…don’t travel alone. Promise me. Oh and I just want to say: Run. Run you clever boy and remember me.”

„I will I promise,” the Doctor said, then turned and closed the door. Oswin stepped back as the TARDIS dematerialized. She closed her eyes and sighed. He was gone. He was gone and she was alive. She saved him and was still alive. Most of her echoes died saving the Doctor. But she didn’t wonder much about it she had other problems now. First she had to face the captain later and explain to him why she was down in the engines room in the first place. Second thing was she had to deal with her feelings. Now that she had met the Doctor again her hopes hadrisen in the thought that it wouldn’t be the last time. But it was even harder to wait now. That was all she could think about when she made her way back upstairs to the common room.

 

Oswin returned from the common room where she was congratulated by the entire crew after the captain had told that she was the one who was responsible that Harris could be arrested. Then she went back to her room and looked around. What now? Was that it? There she was again. The Doctor came and now he was gone again and she was still here. She stood by the window and watched the stars. Where he might be somewhere out there she wondered. She wished she could be with him. But she knew she couldn’t. She was just an echo of herself. Maybe she would meet him again sometime, save him again and maybe die in the act. She wasn’t sad of the thought of dying for him but she felt sorry for him because he would have to lose her again. Suddenly she heard a cough and jumped around startled. It was dark in her room and she had to blink to adjust her vision to the bright light that now came from the hall outside into her room. Someone stood in the open door. First it was just a silhouette but she recognised it. She stepped closer.

“Doctor.” She said with light surprise in her voice.

“What are you still doing here?”

“I was thinking a little and came to the conclusion that you were right with what you said.”

“What did I say?”

“What you said about me and traveling alone.”

“Oh.” Oswin didn’t know what to expect but her heartbeat increased in speed.

“You were right. I shouldn’t travel alone. So you want to come with me then? Seeing the stars?”

He held out his hand for her. With a bright smile on her face she took it gladly and fell into his arms. It felt like returning home after a long time. She was in the place where she belonged. It felt different because it was a different Doctor but it still felt so right.

 

Oswin gave the Alaska one last look before she followed the Doctor into the TARDIS.

“Wow, it looks nice.” She hadn’t seen this custom of the interior yet.

“So you also know about the…” he waved around with his hand in a cycle. “The bigger on the inside stuff. Yeah, I know, time lord technology.”

The Doctor nodded in respect. She was brilliant. But who was she?

Oswin leaned against the bars, arms crossed over her chest. “So, where or when are we going??

The Doctor walked around the panel. “Well, I think the Oods can wait. Where do you want to go?”

“Anywhere.”

With him anywhere was fine, she thought.

He put in some coordinates, pushed some buttons and pulled the lever and the TARDIS took off. Destination anywhere in time and space. Oswin was extremely excited when she opened the door. Where had the Doctor taken her this time? She was sure it was somewhere awesome.

 

tbc~


	3. Three

Oswin Oswald was brilliant.He couldn’t help but think that again and again. She was a genius, she was brave, clever, witty and exactly what he needed. She was the perfect diversion when he got upset by the thought that he was supposed to meet his fate soon, his fate that was the end of his song. She was almost too perfect and that scared him a little. He had met a person that had intrigued him like that only once and she had died as she saved him. Oswin knew so much of him and his future and he knew that she couldn’t tell him. But he was desperate to know who she really was. How could he possibly find it out, spoiler-free and without corrupting his time line? Obviously it already was corrupted since she knows him from the future so he wasn’t going to die, was he? But he still couldn’t know for sure.

At first the Doctor was constantly trying to get something out of her, the tiniest clue at least about who she was but always with the same result. She always fed him up with “Spoilers.” Or “I Can’t tell you, it’s your future.” Sometimes it was almost driving him mad but he gave it up. For now.

One night when Oswin was asleep in her room in the TARDIS he looked up the data records of the TARDIS but he couldn’t find anything about Oswin Oswald. She was a mystery. How can she know about his past and his future without even time traveling? She had obviously travelled with him before in his future. But how could she be here and know about his past as well when he hadn't met her before? It was those little things that made him wonder how that was even possible, like one day they were on a shopping trip on earth because Oswin wanted to see her home planet again after being in space for so long and she complained that he was grumpy again, so she took out a small white bag and asked if he wanted a jelly baby.

Oswins voice and some strange noises caught his attention, concerned he called for his companion. “You alright there?” He thought she was in her room but maybe the TARDIS had moved it again and Oswin got lost somewhere. So he went to look for her and found her in the kitchen, covered in flour, smoke coming from the oven.

“What are you doing?”  He asked at the top of his voice, coughing and waving the smoke away with his hand.

“Sorry,” she said with a regretful face and tone. “I burnt another soufflé. I just can't get it right today,” she sighed, wiping her hands on her coloured striped apron. The Doctor laughed at the sight and couldn’t help but declare that as utterly adorable.

“That’s not even funny!” Now she was pouting and he had to try really hard not to find that even more adorable. “Sorry,” he said, still chuckling and coming closer to her. “But you look funny.”

“What?”  She looked up at him with a not so friendly face. The Doctor wiped a bit white flour from her nose with his finger. Oswin blushed and turned away.

“I'll clean this up.” She muttered with her back to him, she only heard a “Mmmm” from him and frowned. “This is good.” She turned around, seeing him eating her previous, not burned but sunk in attempt of a soufflé.

“Is it?” she asked a little insecure.

“Yeah,” he replied with his mouth full of chocolate soufflé. “Really good.”  Oswin smiled a little.

“That’s better. Come on, let’s have some fun. Oswin threw away the apron and followed the Doctor back to the console room. “Where are we going?” she wanted to know excitingly.

The Doctor grinned. “Barcelona. The planet, not the city.”

 

When they landed and Oswin walked out of the TARDIS she laughed. “I guess this isn’t Barcelona.” She rolled her eyes. Will they ever get where they wanted to?  However, it was her fault; she talked the Doctor into stealing this TARDIS, so she had to deal with it now.

“No, I don’t think so,” the Doctor agreed, scratching his head. “But where are we?” “Good question but it looks like a jungle to me.”

Indeed it was a jungle.  Sky-high trees surrounded them, the air was sticky hot and filled with the sounds of exotic birds and insects and all imaginable animals and probably aliens. Oswin thought she could also hear waterfalls or the cascades of a raging stream nearby. Big green leaves of all sorts of plant she wouldn’t even recognize at all got in their way as they marched deeper into the jungle to find a hint of where exactly they were. Oswin had suggested to consult the TARDIS but the Doctor simply remarked “That’s not as much fun, let’s go exploring.”

Oswin liked to explore of course but sometimes he was so full of zest and in a mood where he wanted to do everything at the same time. Oswin guessed it was because he thought that his time was running out and she could understand it, however it got exhausting by the time.

“Doctor, wait.” She stumbled through the woods behind him, having a hard time to keep up with him. Suddenly she heard a noise that was different, a kind of clicking and something like breathing. She stopped and looked around.  It was coming closer; she turned on the spot but couldn’t see anything. She searched for the Doctor. He was gone.

Then the noise was right behind her and everything went dark.

 

When she came to she was tied to a tree with fine silk-like strings that were tight and very strong. She struggled against it without the slightest result. She gave it up quickly as she saw the Doctors back to her. He was talking to a giant, red spider.

“Get out of the way!” The Spider hissed. “This human is my prey.”

“Never!” The Doctor shouted back.

“Then I’ll kill you, too.”

“Come and try. But I warn you. It was me who killed your empress once.” The Racnoss spider hissed again. “There are not many of you left. I tell you what, I also committed genocide more than once and if you bend one hair on this human girls head, I swear to  you, I’ll do it again. Starting with you. Understood?”

The Racnoss hesitated for a moment then went down for an attack on him with her huge claws. The Doctor raised his sonic screwdriver pointing it at the Racnoss and it backed off. The spider hissed again, raised the claw again and cut loose the strings that bound Oswin. Then the Racnoss ran back into the forest in fear of the oncoming storm.

The Doctor turned to Oswin. “Are you alright?”

Oswin rubbed her arms. “Yes, I’m fine. But what was that?”

On their way back to the TARDIS he explained that this alien was a child of the Racnoss and how he had killed the Empress of the Racnoss. “Wow,” Oswin was stunned. “And today was impressive, too.”

“Actually, I’m not very proud of either of it.”

Oswin frowned. “Come on, I know you had no choice back then and that you just said that genocide thing only to scare the Racnoss away. You wouldn’t actually do that, right? Not for me, a single human being.” The Doctor looked at her and said nothing. Oswin bit her lip. Obviously she had said something wrong again. They found the TARDIS and entered. Once at the console Oswin kept her distance from him. “Let’s get out of here,” he said and they took off. Oswin sighed and kept silent, she knew it was  best not to push him to anything when he was like that. Not even the fact that the planet they had just been was the biggest and deepest jungle in all the universe with all kind of alien inhabitants could lighten up his mood.

Oswin had left the Doctor  alone and he was glad that she couldn’t see his outburst. The recent events had reminded him of his past, what he’d done and what he’d become. He realized, taking Oswin with him and continuing to travel was just him, once again running away from his guilt and his fate. Also, his guilt had just grown; he was almost regretting that he had taken Oswin away- because of him she’d almost become Racnoss food. He wouldn’t be able to take it if he had her blood on his hands, too.

 

The next day the Doctor said, he had a surprise for her. Oswin, as curious as she was, wouldn’t let it go until he would tell her what it was but he remained stubborn and didn’t tell her a single word while she got really annoyed. She pouted and gave him the silent treatment.

They had landed somewhere but he wouldn’t let her see until she promised him to answer him at least one question about her.

“Doctor!” She pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. “That’s not nice.”

 “Come on, Oswin, please just one little thing.” He downright begged her.

“I told you before, I can’t. It’s your future.”

“But isn’t there anything you could tell me before you met me? I mean is Oswin even your real name, I couldn’t find it anywhere...”

He stopped as he saw her face becoming outraged and he realized he should not have said this.

“You’ve looked me up?”

She started to believe she preferred his older version. First blackmailing and now he was spying on her.

“I’m sorry,” he said dropping his head. “It’s just..you are so…”

“What?” Oswin looked at him in anticipation. Was he going to say it? She would love to hear that word again from his mouth.

“I just don’t understand you.” He couldn’t look at her; he knew he had hurt her. Oswin smiled sadly.

“Whatever. You get the surprise anyway.”

He smiled brightly at her. “Close your eyes.”

Oswin raised an eyebrow. “Trust me?” he asked.

“Of course,” she chuckled and closed her eyes. The Doctor turned around and opened the door. Then he grabbed Oswin on her shoulders and led her outside. She felt like they had done this before. Actually she had been at this point before and her heart sank as she remembered her first time with the Doctor on an alien planet. She had saved him there, too.

 

When she opened her eyes, at first she couldn’t see anything because of the brightness that surrounded her. She blinked and when her eyes had adjusted to the light it was breathtakingly beautiful. There were stars everywhere. They were not only above in the sky but all around them. While they walked among the small bright lights that shone in every colour possible, sparkling and glittering they drift out of their way still close enough to light their way and Oswin could almost touch one if she reached out her hand. She looked around and noticed that those little stars were the only source of light around so if it wasn’t for them they would walk in absolute darkness. Oswin was totally in awe that she couldn’t say anything and the Doctor was impatient for a reaction from her though she smiled brightly, eyes wide and mouth open in astonishment.

“Well?”

She turned around her face all lightened up.

“It’s beautiful!!! I don’t know what to say!”

The Doctor smiled back. “I think you said you wanted to see the stars. So here you can see almost all of them. You can also have one on you own if you like. Choose one, I give it to you.”

Now she was really beyond amazed. “What? Are you serious? You’d give me my own star?”

“Yes. We can call it Oswin.”

Oswin laughed. “Oh, Doctor, thank you. That’s just wonderful.”

 

For a while they just stood and watched the stars and Oswin looked for one to claim as her own. The Doctor stood next to her and out of the harmonic moment she unknowingly took his hand. For a brief moment he was back on Christmas as the ashes of the Sycorax ship came down, Rose Tyler taking his hand and he asked her which star she would like to see. But then he looked down and saw this impossible girl and he concentrated on her and the mystery she was.

“Found one?” he asked after a while.

Oswin nodded, and pointed at a star with a light red glow. The Doctor took out a glass ball, opened it so that it was in two halves now and walked toward the chosen star as close as he could, reached out and caught it with the glass ball and captured the star in it. Its light filled the whole ball, broke in the glass and produced a rainbow-coloured glow around it.

“Wow,” Oswin said. “It’s amazing.” The Doctor handed her the glowing glass ball and she gazed at her gift in amazement.

“Thank you,” she breathed and then all of a sudden hugged the Doctor  taking him by surprise. When she let go he cleared his throat.  “Let’s get back it’s dawn soon and the stars will all vanish and then it’s completely dark and you don’t want to experience that.”

 

They went back to the TARDIS and took off into deep space where Oswin sat on the edge of the threshold of the front door, legs hanging into space and holding her star. Earlier this day she had been mad at him but she never could stay mad at him for long, so all her anger was gone and she almost felt a little guilty. So she stood up and went over to the Doctor who was fixing something on the TARDIS again. That was his way to distract himself when he was in a mood again.

“Doctor.”

He looked up, glasses on his nose.

“I’d like to tell you something.”

He frowned; that was never a good sentence to start.

“About me,” she added.

Now he was listening. “Yeah? Are you sure?”

She nodded and leaned against the console, playing with her star in her hands.

“You were right. Oswin isn’t my real name. My name is Clara. I’m from Lancashire and I was a nanny.”

“Lancashire you mean Lancashire, England, Europe, Earth?”

Oswin laughed. “Yes of course earth. Did you think I was lying about that?”

He smiled a little awkwardly. “Well, maybe. You were never telling me anything when I ask how I should know if you’re telling me the truth.”

“I’m sorry. I’m telling you know.”

“Alright then.”

Oswin took a deep breath. “My mum died when I was 18. It was really hard for me and my dad. But we did it somehow. Then a family we were good friends with lost their wife and mum and I helped out looking for the children.”

“That was nice of you.”

“I just knew how it must’ve been for them.”

She sighed. “Actually, I was travelling but I came back for them when I heard about their loss.”

The Doctor seemed impressed. Oswin now hesitated; she was wondering how much she could tell him or if she even had said too much already?

“Then?” he asked curiously.

“Then…” Oswin was thinking, biting her lip. “Nothing then.”

The Doctor was confused.

“But how did you get on the Alaska?”

“Long story.”

“We have time, you know.”

“Right. But I’d like to make it short anyway. So, then I met you, things happened and then I became Oswin and joined the Alaska. That’s all I can say.”

The Doctor wasn’t quite satisfied but he didn’t want to push her any further, so he left it at that for the moment.

 

Later, Oswin sat on the stairs in the control room lost in her thoughts. She had come to the realisation that she could never tell the Doctor about her feelings for him. Not this Doctor. He had just lost so much. He had lost his love, therefore how cruel would it be of her to tell him those words he had last heard from his love he would never see again. She was a bit jealous of Rose Tyler who was now with her own human Doctor and she, Oswin was here with the real Doctor but could never be so close with him. Instead she had to deal with his grief and his changing moods. One day he was all doctorish, funny and mad and then there were times when he was thoughtful, grumpy and just in a bad mood where he wouldnt talk much, just give her single word answers or tell her to shut up. Sometimes she could cheer him up and everything was fine again but sometimes she was a little scared of him. He was pondering and pacing and shouting. Then she thought it better to leave him and retired to her room.

 

“Oswin?” the Doctor called her when she didn’t react he tried again. “Clara, what’s wrong?”

He stood right behind her and she looked up at him. “Don’t call me that, please.”

He sat down beside her. “What’s the matter?” he asked and she could tell that he really cared.

She shook her head. “Nothing.”

“I don’t believe you. I can see it. You’re worried about something.” He stared at her attentatively as if he wanted to force the answer out of her telepathically. She knew it didn’t work like that but she instinctively closed her mind as well as she could.  She looked back at him and it hurt. It was a different face and different eyes but it was the same look, the same caring, wondering look he’d given her before or rather his future regeneration will give her. They looked at each other for a while then he reached out and touched her face.

Oswin turned away and stood up. “I can’t.” Then she went back to her room; her mind and emotions in a complete mess, she closed the door behind her, leaned against it and sank to the floor.

She was wondering if she had made a big mistake.

 

tbc~


	4. Four

The next days it was Oswin who was in a bad mood. She tried hard to gather herself together for the Doctor. He desperately tried to cheer her up or at least get her talking and she appreciated his efforts.  Whatever he showed her or told her she pretended to be really impressed and amazed but there were some thoughts and doubts in her mind and her heart that troubled her lot.

Was she even supposed to come with him? What would happen to their future? What would happen to herself? Could she hide her feelings from him forever? She didn’t dare to think about if not.

 

“Oswin, look I got these candies from this moon of Jupiter, it’s fantastic.” He threw some rainbow coloured glittering sweets to her. She caught them and looked suspiciously at them.

The Doctor walked over to her. “You’re still not telling me what’s troubling you?”

“No, I’m fine, really,” she said. “And thanks,” she held one of the sweets up and put it in her mouth. It was sour like lemon and left a strange tickling feeling on her tongue. She pulled a face. The Doctor smiled about how cute that looked.

 

The Doctor wished he would know more about her so that he could help her with whatever was giving her a hard time. He guessed she had been through a lot and he didn’t like to see her sad. However, since he didn’t know what was wrong he couldn’t fix it.  So many things about Oswin Oswald were driving him mad but still, he was amazed by her and he had grown very fond of her.

She trusted him no matter what, she knew when to pull him back and when to leave him alone, she could take him by surprise and yet even though she seemed to know all about him, all his life, his weaknesses, the worst and the best of him, she was always on his side when he needed her.

He could feel that they already shared a deep bond, it had somehow been there from their first meeting on but still there was this little thing that threatened their friendship from getting closer. If he only could figure out what it was. One thing he was sure of, it was some kind of complicated emotional thing coming from both their sides. She was hiding something and he wasn’t over his past yet and also afraid of his future.

She once told him to focus on the present, to live in the here and now. He was trying and sometimes it worked.

“Fancy a trip?” he asked. Oswin smiled. He took that as a yes and held out his hand. She took it and followed him.

“Allons-y!”

She loved it when he got excited and whirled around the console room, sliding on his converses, long brown coat fluttering around. She would never get tired of it. All of it. All that was traveling with the Doctor.

 

They landed on Earth in the 1920s on a field at the edge of a great forest. A small stony path lead to a huge old mansion, that was probably from the early 19th century.

“That’s beautiful,” Oswin said. They went down the path until they reached the mansion.  Oswin walked from one side at the front to the other only to discover it was abandoned. She tried the front door, while the Doctor peeked in through one of the huge, dusty windows. “That’s strange!” Oswin remarked.  “Indeed,” the Doctor agreed. “It seemes the habitants’ are gone but left everything behind. Something must have happened.”

“Open the door, I want to find out.” She grinned at him and he scratched his head embarrassed. “Well, I can’t. It’s wood. Can’t sonic wood.” Oswin rolled her eyes. Then she looked around until she found a rather huge stone lying around.  She took it and smashed in one window glass, reached in, found the bolt and opened the window.  “After you,” she winked. He shook his head and laughed. “You’re an impossible girl.” Oswin’s stomach did a backflip. She took a deep breath. “I get that a lot,” she muttered and followed him climbing through the window inside the dark and dusty house. The room contained a study, a desk in front of the window, a bookshelf that reached up to the ceiling and a fireplace in which the ashes still remained. The Doctor wiped the dusty backs of the books in the shelf and frowned.  “This place can’t have  been abandoned that long, considering the thickness of the dust and the state of everything,” he muttered. They found nothing strange there and left through the door and found themselves in the hall with a great staircase leading to the second floor. Oswin shivered, it was cold; a cool breeze came through the cracks in the walls and window frames. The Doctor froze as well but not because of the cold. It was the feeling this place gave him. The feeling that something had happened here, that maybe something was still here. Suddenly he thought he had seen something move. He’d only seen it from the corner of his eyes. When he looked there was nothing than dust and shadows. “Doctor, come on what are you waiting for?” Oswin was already halfway up the stairs.

On the second floor there were bedrooms and guest rooms but in none of them they found the slightest clue of what had happened. “Maybe there is a completely rational explanation here,” Oswin suggested. The Doctor looked at her as if she had gone insane. She giggled. “Maybe not.” He wrinkled his nose. “Do you smell this?” Oswin sniffed and coughed. “Ugh what is that.” The doctor looked terrified. He walked down the hall way. At the end there was a huge door, the only room left they hadn’t checked yet. “I guess it’s the library,” he said and opened the door.

It was indeed the library and it was huge. Oswin would have been amazed if there wasn’t that awful smell hitting her that she had to cover her mouth and nose.  She looked around and stood shocked as she saw the bodies. “Oh my stars,” she gasped. They were not exactly bodies, they were skeletons. It seemed like the majority of the former household lying there in the library, dead already for a long time. “What happened to them? How can they be skeletons? I thought they weren’t gone for such a long time that the bodies could already be in that state,” she looked terrified as well, even more so when she saw the Doctors expression, the sheer fear in his face. He took her hand and lighted the room with his sonic. He soniced the place around where Oswin was standing. “Stay where you are, ok.” She nodded and squeezed his hand tight.  “What’s going on?” she pleaded to know, her voice shaking. “The shadows,” the Doctor answered and sighed, “Watch the shadows, if they move, well” he tilted his head. “That’s not good. When you suddenly have two then…” he nodded to the nearest skeleton in a dress and a cardigan that had most likely been the lady of the house. Oswin gulped. “They are called the Vashta Nerada,” he explained. “They live in the dark, cast shadows in the light and come in swarms. As you can see they can melt away your flesh, they’re like piranhas.” He shoved his hand through his hair, thinking. He thought of the friends he had lost and almost lost to the Vashta Nerada and swore by Gallifrey that he was not going to lose Oswin as well whatever it would take. Oswin wondered what happened the last time he encountered the Vashta Nerada, it must’ve been terrible as she assumed from his reaction and his fear. 

“What do we do against them?” Oswin asked. He looked at her with a sorry look. “There’s nothing we can do, sorry. We can only run and that’s what we should do before it gets dark outside.”

~tbc


	5. Five

The Doctor was quickly examining the place to make sure there were no moving shadows. When he gave Clara the ok she went over to a gas lamp on a table and tried to turn it on. There was little bit oil left and it went on. “Carful where you put it,” the Doctor warned her. He rushed over to another corner of the room with his sonic blinking and whirring. Oswin slowly turned on her place and let out a scream. The Doctor jumped up. “What’s wrong?”

“This shadow over there! I think it moved. It’s coming closer.” She stood still, staring at it in shock. “Alright, don’t worry. I suggest we leave.” Oswin nodded put the lamp down and they headed to the door while more shadows moved closer. They ran out of the room and the Doctor slammed the door shut. He took Oswin by the hand and they ran down the hallway shadows moving all around them now. They flew down the stairs and at the end the Doctor stopped abruptly. Oswin almost fell off the last step. “What?”

He tilted his head over to the front door. “We can’t get out there. They’re closing in. We’re trapped.” He walked over to the door that lead to the study they had come in through.

“Watch out!” Oswin shouted and pulled him back. A shadow was coming from behind him. “Phew, close, thanks.” He pulled Oswin closer to him in the lighted spot from a window. “We’re gonna get out of here, I promise.”

She arched her eyebrows. ”So you have a plan. Please tell me you have a plan.”  The Doctor pulled on his hair. “A plan, a plan.” Oswin sighed. “You don’t.” She chewed on her lower lip. “If we could just get to the TARDIS.”

“For that we have to…” the Doctor froze. Then his face lightened up and he tuned to Oswin with a smile. “Oswin you are brilliant!!” He cupped her face and kissed her on the lips. Oswin was startled and looked at him in confusion. “What? Why?” He grinned and held his sonic up. “You’re right we have to get in the TARDIS. And I know how.” Oswin stood still a little in shock, not knowing that he was talking about. He fumbled on the settings of his screwdriver. It whirred and seemed to send out a signal and then another familiar sound could be heard. Oswin frowned and blinked as the view around her blurred and the interior of the TARDIS materialized around them. Slowly her face lightened up as well. She laughed out. “You just called her.” When the TARDIS had fully materialized around them they ran to the panel and took off with the Vashta Nerada closing in on them but before they could get to them. “We did it!” Oswin laughed and jumped at the Doctor and hugged him. He smiled at her. “What is it with you? You saved me again.” Oswin grinned.

“But I could really need a rest now and then I’d like to go on a holiday.” She said and the Doctor agreed and Oswin went to bed. “Good night, Dotor.

“Good night Oswin.”

 

Later in the night Oswin had a nightmare and she woke up shaking. All she remembered of the dream was that it was about shadows. The Vashta Nerada. She couldn’t fall asleep again so she wandered around the TARDIS until she found herself in the control room where she caught the Doctor looking at the screen. She crossed her arms over her chest. “Are you looking me up again?” The Doctor jumped startled. “No, no, I just, never mind. Why aren’t you sleeping?”

 She slowly walked over to him. “I can’t.” She swallowed hard trying to hold the tears back. She didn’t want to lose it in front of him. It had been all too much for her. Her worries and then the deadly encounter with the Vashta Nerada.

“What’s wrong.” She bit down on her lower lip and shook her head. She wrapped her arms around her to hide her shaking. “I just..” her voice was trembling and she sobbed quietly. The Doctor pulled her into an embrace, rubbed over the small of her back. “It’s alright. Just let it go. Was it a nightmare?” She nodded slightly; her head lay against his chest. She blinked and the tears were falling and she sobbed heavily. Her fingers clutched to the lapels of his suit and she buried her face against his chest. He just held her tight and placed kisses on the side of her head. After a while she was quiet and they sat down. Oswin leaned still against his shoulder and the Doctor had still an arm around her. “Sorry,” she muttered tiredly. “I don’t know what gotten into me. “Don’t worry it’s gonna be alright.” Oswin let out a heavy sigh and her eyes went shut. Only a minute later she was asleep. When the Doctor noticed her shallow breathing he picked her up and carried her into her room and tugged her under the cover in her bed. He brushed a lock out of her face and kissed her forehead.

 

The next day when Oswin was rested and well, they decided to have a nice and quiet day in London. They enjoyed the rare sunny weather walking alongside the Themes. Oswin was chewing on some chips. “Isn’t it too boring for you?” She asked between two bites, chuckling.  “No, not at all it’s completely fine with me,” the Doctor said and put an arm around her while they walked. 

After a while they sat down in a café sharing a big cup of chocolate ice-cream. Oswin was silent for a while. The Doctor frowned. “What is it?”

Oswin hesitated. “Can I ask you something?” she said then.

“Sure,” he answered. “But then you have to tell me something as well. Quid pro quo.” Oswin rolled her eyes. “Okay.”

“Go ahead,” he smiled.

She took a deep breath. “What happened the last time you encountered the Vashta Nerada?” His expression fell. He had to swallow. “It was in The Library. The biggest library in the universe. I lost someone.” Oswin looked up her brow furrowing. Something was ringing in her memory. “River.”  She said quietly. He looked surprised. “You know her?” Oswin shrugged “A little. Met her once. “ she gave him a lopsided smile. “Spoilers I guess.”

He nodded and didn’t want to go further on this subject. “Also I almost lost my friend Donna there.”

“I’m sorry,” she said with true compassion in her voice. Then another thing came to her mind. “Why isn’t she with you then?” The Doctor leaned back and looked over the street before he answered. “They’re gone. They’re all gone now. It’s just me.” Oswin looked at him and it dawned to her that it was not long before his regeneration. She let out a “Ohh,” but cleared her throat quickly. “I see.” She looked down and ate the last bit of the ice-cream. “It’s your turn.”

“Yes it is,” he said slowly as if he had to think of something. “You told me you wanted to travel. Where did you want to go?”

Oswin smiled and told him about the book her mum read to her when she was a kid. “It’s called ‘101 Places to See’ and it was my childhood dream to go and see all of them.”

 

Later that night Oswin woke up again. She heard something and went looking for it. Again in the Console room she met the Doctor. “What are you doing this time?” She walked around the console as she saw him fiddling with some wrapping paper. When she approached him he tried to hide something. “Nothing,” he said. She stood in front of him with crossed arms and arched eyebrows. He knew he had no chance. He revealed what he was hiding behind his back. Oswin stared at the book. “Where did you get that?” He winked. “That’s my secret.”

She took it from him and caressed the cover with her finger. “I don’t know what to say. Thank you.” He shrugged. “You’re most welcome.”

She pressed the book to her chest and looked up to him with an affectionate smile. She reached out to his face and caressed his cheek. He stood still; he didn’t know what to do because he didn’t want to scare her away like the last time. Suddenly Oswin pulled his face down to her and kissed him. His eyes widened and as soon as it happened it was over again. He opened his mouth but said nothing and closed it again hence he didn’t know what to say. Their faces were still close together and Oswin looked into his eyes with a smile. Her hand trailed down from his face to his chest. She couldn’t hold back her feelings any longer. This wasn’t her Doctor but it was still the same person. It was still him and she still felt the same for him.

“I love you.”

* * *

tbc


	6. Six

The Doctor stood still like he had turned to stone. His still surprised expression frozen on his face. But inside it was a mess, a raging tornado of emotion and his two hearts beating fast and out of synch in an unsteady rhythm against his chest. It was like an icy sting to his hearts to hear those words, memories of tears and goodbyes coming to his mind.

He wasn’t aware of Oswin looking at him in anticipation, a little afraid for his reaction. He wasn’t aware of her at all. Exhaling a long breath he came back to reality not knowing how long it had been since Oswin had spoken the words. He swallowed and looked down at Oswin who was biting on her lip now, those lips that had been on his only minutes ago.

Oswin was confused as well, she hadn’t even told _her_ Doctor her feelings yet but she gathered herself together and gave him a lopsided smile. “It’s okay,” she said as he still owed her an answer. Or any kind of reaction. “I can handle that.”

Then the Doctor slowly shook his head. “I’m over it.” He said with determination in his voice. Oswin frowned. “Over with what?”

He breathed in and ran a hand through his messy hair.

“With my past. I am moving on. You told me that I will. So that’s what I’m doing.” Oswin didn’t understand completely.

“What do you mean?”

The Doctor sighed. “I lost so much. I was done. Then I met you. That reminded me there is always something to find. And that there’s a future.” Oswin smiled. “Yes, there is. Even for you.” The Doctor smiled back, cupped her face and kissed her.  “Thank you.” Oswin grinned and took advantage of the small distance between them and wrapped her arms around his neck. “My pleasure,” Oswin said with a seductive smile that left the Doctor blushing. The TARDIS made some whirring noises and Oswin rolled her eyes. The Doctor took the chance and pushed her gently away. With a huff Osiwn crossed her arms over her chest.

“So, when you move on. What are you gonna do?” The Doctor shrugged, leaning against the console.

“What I always do. You’re coming with me?”

Oswin laughed, looking at him with affection. “Of course I do. What other choice do I have anyway?”

“True,” he winked at her.

 

Oswin stepped outside the TARDIS and had to blink against the millions of flashing lights all around, the many sounds melt together to a buzzing and humming and there were people and cars everywhere. Oswin looked around, didn’t know where to look or go first and smiled brightly. She took in a big breath of cool Las Vegas night air.

Both Oswin and the Doctor needed some air and maybe an adventure. “I feel lucky today,” she said with a grin. The last time Oswin planned a trip to Vegas with him they ended up on a soviet submarine. She was glad this time Sexy didn’t mess it up.

Oswin brushed with the palm of her hand over her knee long dark blue dress and grabbed her red purse tight as the Doctor turned up behind her and laid a hand on her shoulder.

“Ready?” He asked. “Aye,” Oswin grinned and dragged him along down the crowded street, casinos and hotels lined up on the left and right.

 

Oswin dragged the Doctor into a very fancy looking Casino. “You really wanna do that? You know that this has very less to do with luck.” Oswin grinned. “Of course I know that! But I wanna have dinner in this restaurant and since we have no money I’m gonna get us some.”

Oswin tried it with poker, said to the Doctor that she was very good at telling when people lie or cheat. It didn’t go very well though. Oswin figured quickly that one of the men was cheating and when she pointed that out because she couldn’t hold her mouth back he got angry at her, yelled at her and a fight started, just shouting but when the guy went at her the Doctor pulled her away before it could get physical. They left with Oswin fuming and pouting. But she didn’t want to give up even though she now had lost everything.

“So what now?” the Doctor asked. Oswin smiled.

“I’ve got another idea,” she said and pulled him along with him into anther casino.

“You know, we could just go to a ash point-“

Oswin rolled her eyes at him. “Where would be the fun in that?”

 They went to a machine in the very back of the casino where it was not so crowded. “Can you sonic it?” she asked with a smug grin. The Doctor grinned back and nodded as he soniced the machine and it started without money was inserted.

When the rolls were spinning Oswin pulled the lever and the Doctor used his sonic screwdriver again and-

“Jackpot!” Oswin yelled and took the 1000 dollars out, grinning widely at the Doctor.

“I think we should go,” he said and looked concerned and Oswin now also noticed the security men approaching them. She nodded and they quickly left the casino.

 

They went to the restaurant Oswin had mentioned. It was very fancy. Red carpet, neatly dressed waiters, candle light and soft piano music playing in the background where a couple slowly danced in a close embrace. They ordered a table for two and Oswin, arms linked with the Doctor blushed as they were lead to a table in the back, window side.

They drank champagne and while they waited for their dinner Oswin noticed the Doctor seemed a little nervous. She frowned at him.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“So this is a.. date then?” He asked back and looked around the restaurant so he didn’t have to look at Oswin.

“I- uh.” She stammered cheeks flushed but before she could say something more the Doctor spoke.

“A bit different from the last one. Well, different from most of the dates I had.” He chuckled slightly.

“What do you mean?” Oswin asked curiously. “Is it not good?” She looked a bit worried.

“No.” The Doctor said quickly, “It’s very good actually. I just meant that I hadn’t something like this in a long time. I mean a date without running from something or aliens interrupting.” Oswin laughed out loud. “Not yet,” she giggled. “But who knows. This waiter over there he looks suspicious he could indeed be an alien. Poisoning the guests or something. Maybe you should sonic him to check.” Oswin joked and the Doctors head snapped up in the direction where said waiter just poured out some red wine for a couple at the other end of the window side tables. Oswin laughed even louder. But the Doctor stayed serious as he leaned over and whispered, “You’re probably right” as the waiter came over to them with their food and both of them burst into laughed once again and the poor guy almost dropped the plate in front of Oswin. He looked confused and mumbled a “sorry” and “bon appetite” and rushed away.

 

When they had finished a woman came to their table serving the dessert. “I guess we have scared him away.”  Oswin whispered. The waitress smiled widely at the Doctor as she put the chocolate pudding in front of him. He smiled back and she blushed a little. She ignored Oswin completely and Oswin pouted a little as the waitress walked away and the Doctor still looked at her. Yes, the waitress was pretty and that made Oswin a little angry. Gritting her teeth she started to eat her pudding.

They said nothing for a while when Oswin had finished her dessert she leaned back and grinned satisfied. “Wanna go back to the TARDIS?” the Doctor asked. Oswin nodded and waved at the waitress and Oswin paied the bill. The Doctor shot her an apologizing look that meant he was sorry that he couldn’t pay the bill like a gentleman but even though this was a more normal date they definitely were not a normal couple so Oswin just shrugged, took his arm again and they went back to the TARDIS.

 

* * *

 

tbc


	7. Seven

“You can’t be serious,” Oswin giggled and almost choked.

“Yes I am,” the Doctor laughed as they stumbled into the TARDIS, laughing and giggling over a story the Doctor had just told and Oswin had to hold on to his arm tighter not to fall backwards down the stairs as they staggered to her room, laughing and panting. Oswin hiccupped and her cheeks flushed red even more.

“You look funny,” the Doctor chuckled and Oswin looked in horror at him as she realized she must be red like a tomato and like this she had been out there on the street crowded with people. It wasn’t such a good idea to go into this cocktail bar they had passed on their way back to the TARDIS. The margarita and sex on the beach combined with the champagne and wine she had before was a little too much for her.  The Doctor wasn’t quite sober either.

“Jesus,” Oswin sighed, she felt a little dizzy and flopped back on her bed. Unfortunately she forgot to let go of the Doctors arm, he stumbled and fell down on the bed as well and half onto her.

“Ow,” Oswin huffed and the doctor shifted quickly down from her and lay next to her. “Sorry,” he mumbled. Oswin smiled at him.

“It’s okay,” she said. She reached out and put her hand on the back of his neck and pulled him into another kiss.

The Doctor responded immediately. Their lips and tongues were hungry for each other and their hands touched and caressed everything they could reach of the other.

“Best night ever,” Oswin moaned into the kiss. The Doctor just nodded breathless and held her face in his palms, caressing her cheeks with his thumbs. He kissed her lips again, her nose, her cheeks, her forehead. “Clara Oswin Oswald, you are the best that could happen to me.”

Oswin smiled happily and pulled him down onto her again.

“I can do even better,” she smirked. “Let me show you the stars for once.”

 

When Oswin woke up she felt still a little tired and a throbbing pain was forming in her head. She blinked, rubbed her eyes and sat up in her bed. Looking around she noticed a glass of water and some aspirin on the nightstand. “Oh, thank you,” she sighed and reached for the pills and swallowed two of them down with a big swig of water. She took a deep breath and then she remembered what happened. Shocked, she fell back onto the bed and closed her eyes for a moment to let everything sink in.

_Oh my god, I slept with an over 900 year old alien._

Then she burst out into laughter.

A split second later the Doctor bolted through the door inside her room. He didn’t wear his suit, only the trousers, a shirt and socks.

“Oswin! What happened?”

Oswin, still giggling, wiped some tears of laughter from her face, stood up and threw herself at him.

“Nothing,” she muttered. “Everything’s fine.”

“Okay.” He said a bit confused. Oswin let go of him and grinned.

“You do know how to pleasure a woman; I didn’t expect that from you.” Now it was his turn to blush and he turned away to hide his flushed cheeks.

Oswin patted his chest and then held her belly.

“I’m so hungry,” she groaned as she turned to leave for the bathroom.

“There’s breakfast in the kitchen,” the Doctor said. Oswin looked at him in surprise.

“You made breakfast?” He shrugged and grinned proudly. Oswin shook her head. “You’re so sweet.” She went to do her morning wash and got dressed.

In the kitchen, tea, coffee and plates with bacon, eggs, and pancakes and sandwiches were ready on the table. Oswin sat down on the opposite from the Doctor and poured herself some coffee. The Doctor drank tea. They sat and ate in silence for some time only glancing and smiling at each other every now and then.

“Tell me,” he suddenly starts to talk. “In the future, are we…” he gestured with his hand between the two of them.

Oswin almost choked on her eggs. Then she shook her head slowly. “Not like that,” she said and her cheeks flushed red again. “I have not had the guts to tell him, I mean you, yet.”

He nodded slowly as he poked around in his food. “I get it. It’s complicated right?”

“Yes,” Oswin chuckled. “You were too busy figuring out who I am.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “I can already relate to _that_ feeling.” They both laughed and finished off their breakfast.

It was all too good to be true. Later that day Oswin got that strange feeling again that something was going to happen.

 

Oswin was circling the console while the Doctor has vanished in the depth of his spaceship as suddenly lights flashed randomly all over the console and it made high alarm sounds.

“What is wrong?” Oswin asked startled, hands up in the air. “I didn’t do anything.” She starts walking around the console again.

“Doctor? What is happening?” she shouted.

The Doctor came back and dashed to the panel.

“No, no, no, no. What is it?” He pressed some buttons and looked at the readings on the screen with a frown.

“She reacts to something. It seems like a distress signal. No, two signals.” He scratched his head.

“Who sends them?” Oswin is at his side and looks confused at him and the screen.

“One comes from the TARDIS, the other one I’m trying to locate. But it’s weak and fading, probably shielded by something like a force field.” The Doctor took out his sonic screwdriver trying to trace the signal and after a minute or so he let out a frustrated sigh.

“What?” Oswin asked, although she already had a clue what was wrong.

“Lost it,” he said disappointed. Oswin cursed. There might have been someone who needed their help and now they couldn’t do anything.

The Doctor noted her expression and knew what she was thinking.

“Hey I won’t give up. I’m going to let out a signal boost maybe someone else was able to find the origin of the signal. And you go and do whatever. Make soufflé or something, just don’t worry.”

 

Oswin laughed. The Doctor smiled at her and then suddenly stopped. His expression became serious. Oswin noticed that and her smile faded. Moreover not only her smile was fading.

“Oswin,” the Doctor said voiceless and he went pale, as was Oswin. 

 

* * *

tbc

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be disappointed that I left out the part where they were sleeping together. You'll get that in an extra part. Actually there will be at least two smutty extra parts and more in this verse in general.  
> leave me some feedback pls.


	8. Eight

“Doctor what’s wrong?”

“You.”

“What?”

“You’re…fading.”

 

 “What do you mean?” Oswin looked down on her hands. She gasped. They were really pale, almost transparent and flickering. “Oh my god what is going on?” She began to panic.

 

 “I don’t know.” He said looking around confused not knowing what to do.

 “Doctor, what is happening to me? Please, help me.” Oswin’s voice was high, as if it was also fading.

 

“Calm down, dear.” He took his sonic and scanned her. The result was shocking. “No!” he gasped. “No, no, no!” he cried.

 “Doctor!”

“You’re dying.”

“What? How? Why?” It made sense to her because that was almost how she felt like.

 “It’s hard to explain, but you‘re just about to stop—existing.”

 She looked at him in shock.

“Oh no,” she breathed. “I knew something like this would happen.”

 

“How did you know?” He looked at her in surprise.

Oswin sighed. “I had always the feeling that it maybe could have consequences that I’ve come with you because I’m not supposed to be.” The Doctor thought for a moment. “You mean…like a paradox?”

Oswin nodded. “The Alaska, probably I’m supposed to be there now.”

The Doctor searched the TARDIS data core and found a mayday call from the Alaska.

“It had crashed. Maybe that was the second signal, a distress signal from the Alaska.” Now Oswin felt really sick.

“Let me guess,” she said slowly. “On the Dalek Asylum.” The Doctor looked up the coordinates and nodded.

“Then I’m really supposed to be there.” He looked at her, so serious that it sent a shiver down her spine. “Now it’s time to tell me everything, don’t you think?”

“I just know what you have told me, your future version, you know. You told me that you met me in the Dalek Asylum, that I had been shipwrecked there and saved you from the daleks.” She intentionally left out the part with her being a dalek and dying. “However, because I haven’t been on the Alaska I couldn’t save you there, so I won’t met you therefore I can’t jump into your time stream-”

“What?!”

“—and become an echo of myself that’s why I’m fading now.”

“Then we have to do something!”

“We have to do something very fast because since I’m already dying that means you’re probably already dead. Oh, that means I’m not only dying in the Dalek Asylum.”

“What?”

“Yes, you said that I died there but now I don’t and I can’t save you there. Of course not, because you’re here right now. That also means you won’t save me when I’ll get uploaded into the wi-fi by the Great Intelligence. So I’m probably now dying at the Maitlands house.

“Ok, let me think,” the Doctor said ruffling his hair. “I’ll fix that. I’ll save you.”

Oswin sighed. “I tell you what we do. You have to go back to the point before you took me with you and keep me from coming with you.”

“But.”

“No, it’s my fault that you will die, and that’s the only way. It was my mistake and we have to fix it.”

“But I don’t want to lose you!”

“You won’t. You’ll see me again.”

“Ok, here’s what I’m going to do: I’ll save you first just in case that something goes wrong, like you’re not listening to me and coming anyway. Tell me exactly where you are dying.”

She told him the time-space coordinates of the day when she first met the Doctor and was uploaded into the wi-fi.

“You’ll need my computer; it’s in my room, top floor.”

“Alright then.” He set the coordinates and took off. Oswin was now only a pale shining ghost. When the TARDIS landed, he stood before Oswin. It was a good-bye and it hurt.

“See you, Doctor.” Her voice was echoing like it wasn’t even real.

 “See you, Miss Oswald.”  He said and kissed her forehead. A silent tear ran down her transparent cheek then he hurried out. He ran to the Maitland’s house and didn’t bother to knock or anything just soniced the door open.

The hall was empty. Should’t Clara be there? Then he remembered, it was a different timeline now where he was dead so she hadn’t met him. He went upstairs to her room where he found her lying unconsciousness on the ground the spoon head next to her. He soniced it until it was deactivated. Then he knelt at Clara’s side and checked if she was alive. He sighed in relief when he felt her pulse. It was weak but it was there. Whirling around the room he was looking for her computer. He found her laptop on her desk and started downloading her. When he was done and she was safe, he put her in her bed, leaving a note on her nightstand with the order to stay inside and not to use the internet. Then he went back to the TARDIS for his next trip. This time to the past. When he entered the TARDIS Oswin was gone. He felt lost, but he had something to do.

When he landed on the Alaska, the corridor was empty. That was good because it meant he had arrived at the right time. Two Tardis and two Doctors in the same place would only make it more complicated. He quickly went to Oswin’s room. He didn’t try to gently draw her attention to him but just walked over to her.

“Oswin.”

She turned around startled.

“Doctor what are you still doing here?”

“Listen to me,” he said firmly, holding her by her shoulders, forcing her to look at him.

“It’s important that you do what I tell you know.”

“What’s wrong?” Oswin was confused.

“Just listen. When I come back and ask you to come with me, just don’t. ok?”

“What? Why?”

“Trust me, Clara. You can’t come with me. You’re supposed to be here or we both will die in the Dalek Asylum.” Oswin looked shocked. How did he know her name and about the Dalek Asylum? “How do you know?”

“I’m from the future.”

“Yeah, I already guessed that.”

The Doctor sighed. “As much as I hate it to leave you here, promise me to stay here.”

Oswin nodded slowly. “I promise.” He hugged her. Oswin sighed as well. How she had missed that. The Doctor let her go and they looked at each other for a moment. Then the Doctor cleared his throat and shoved his hand through his hair, making it all messier. Oswin smiled.

“Just one more thing,” he said, reached for her face and caressed her cheek. “Just remember that I love you. I always will.”

Sheer surprise was written all over her face. She opened her mouth, but couldn’t say anything and the Doctor put his finger on her lips.

“See you around.” He winked at her with a loving smile before he left the room.

Back in the TARDIS he took off to somewhere far away. Now he just had to wait. And hope. Suddenly he realized that he would lose all the memories of traveling with Oswin once the timeline was altered again to a time line where she wouldn’t come with him. This thought made him sad. However he clung to the fact that she will be alright and that he was going to see her again in the future.

 

Oswin didn’t wait until the present Doctor came back. She headed back down to the TARDIS. She knocked and he opened the door and was surprised to see her. Smiling at him she shoved him aside and went inside. He looked confused at her and she sighed.

“I can’t come with you. But I also can’t let you remember me.”

 

Oswin sat all alone in the dark. She felt like crying but she didn’t. She knew she was going to die and the Doctor wouldn’t remember her at all. She had used the memory worm on him. It was better this way. He didn’t know her in the Dalek Asylum and Victorian London and it better stayed that way. Oswin calmed herself with the thought that he would be alive because of her and the memories of all the adventures they had. Sometimes she wondered what had happened between her and the Doctor, the one who came to her from the future and told her to stay.

One day she woke up and just new this was the day, the day she knew was coming.

 _Run you clever boy and remember_ , she thought before the ship crashed. 

* * *

 

tbc


End file.
